Everything ends. That's a part of life, right?

In theatre we face endings all the time. The end of the planning period , the end of rehearsals, and the end of the production run to name one set. 

What I want to address today is how we deal with those endings.

I thinks it's important to work with our kids on accepting endings as being both okay and natural. To celebrate the conclusion of an amazing journey rather than grieve that the journey is over. To look at the things we've learnt, the skills we've gained, the friends we've made, and appreciate it. Not devalue all other aspects of the experience by making the final part of your journey about sadness, your final thoughts and memories being grief, and often creating an uncomfortable experience for those around you (and maybe even ruining their final memories of the journey).

I like to tell cast members not to grieve, but rather be thankful for the amazing experiences and look towards the next fantastic adventure. I like to see an ending in theatre as the beginning of something new. And this time, you start something new with more knowledge and skills, and hopefully a greater sense of adventure.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling a little sad that something you've enjoyed is now coming to a close. However, I feel that needs to be a momentary reflection where you acknowledge that the inevitable must now happen, and then move forward.  

I know it is easier as we get older to see what we may have missed out on had a journey not concluded, but I wish someone had taken the time to try and teach me this when I was younger. It's a skill useful beyond the realms of backstage. Accepting endings as a natural part of life allows us to become flexible and quick to adapt. instead of wasting time trying to 'come to terms' with the grief, we adapt in the moment, adjust expectations, and live in the present.

A friend once told me that we should all take responsibility for "everything" that happens to us. I was mortified in that moment and accused him of inadvertently victim blaming (although not those exact words as they were not in trend 15 years ago). He went on to explain that, for those things that others 'do 
to us' over which we have no control, our responsibility lays with how we choose to deal with it. How do we let it define us? Do we give up? Do we rise above? Do we learn? Do we ignore or pretend? How we deal with it is our choice. This definitely applies to endings. 

How do I define myself by my endings:

My life is a series of new beginnings. Each one feeding my mind, body or soul and contribute to this amazing journey. To each and every participant of my journey, thank you.

This a word in danger of being relegated to 'buzz word' and 'consultant speak', and yet it is oh so important. In recent years I've noticed many more conversations with teachers and parents that lead to discussing a need to teach our kids more resilience, or indeed the need to better develop it within ourselves.
The definition of resilience is 'the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties' (https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/resilience). To recover 'quickly', not enter into a long and arduous journey of analysis or lamentation, but rather to be able to accept our 'difficulties' or mistakes or problems as an opportunity to learn and move forward. 
I've occasionally been misread as lacking empathy or being too hard in the past when I have put forward this idea of resilience. These accusations mainly coming from a brand of human I call the  "Yes, but" people. You know the ones. They're the individuals who will always counteract any suggestion with "Yes, but" followed by an untested reason they would never follow up on your suggestion. For example, 
A - "I really want to change careers"
B - 'Perhaps you can find a part-time or correspondence course in an area that interests you?'
A - "Yes, but I have to work so I won't have time."
B - 'I wonder if there is one that has flexibility to work in with your working life?'
A - "Yes, but I still want to be able to have a social life and that would really eat into my work/life balance."
B - 'I hear you. Maybe it might be worth a little less social life for a couple of years if it means finding something you really want to do?'
A - "Yes, but then I'll feel like I'm putting my life on hold."
... pretty much the point where B gives up. What I usually am feeling from the "Yes, buts" is a risk averse nature that is much stronger than their desire to chase better alternatives.
Let's face it, we can all come up with amazing excuses to avoid putting ourselves out there and possibly, gasp, failing. What I love about the drama classroom is that it has taught me, and in turn allows me to teach on, the art of embracing failures. The best acting teacher I ever had would continually gift me with the mantra, "Get it wrong." 
Through games and activities, drama students learn how to throw all of their ideas into the ring for testing.

Like scientists we create a hypothesis for our performance, follow a clear methodology depending on parameters set by the game, activity or teacher, and then, through performance, test it out. Sometimes a scene with the best of intentions falls flat on its face. At this point the teaching of resilience steps in. What the drama teacher does not want their student to do is beat themselves up and indulge in embarrassment. All that does is inhibit the actor within and close the student off to forming and sharing new ideas. Instead we encourage, through discussion, a quick SWOT analysis of the scene and then develop a new plan that takes the original idea in a different direction.

Like our sporting counterparts, a drama student must train for a successful performance. We analyse both the psychological and physical needs of our characters and work on developing mentally, vocally and physically to embody the characters world. It is not uncommon for me to work my classes into a sweat in the first section of our classes. It is not uncommon that I have to listen to my students whinging that they're tired, they've had a hard day at school, it's two degrees too hot, that they're really stressed (in other words, they are "Yes, but-ing" me without actually using the words. It's at this point in time we develop the life skill of 'Sucking it up'. So many times through life we are faced with situations where we don't feel physically or emotionally up for something, but still have to do it. Resilience.

Studying Drama is about learning resilience. Practising. Developing. Sometimes failing. Always getting back up.

​

An interesting situation arose last week with a young actor suddenly pulling out of a show I'm stage managing. The part was ensemble, but also training up in elements of stage management. All had been fine until they suddenly weren't making rehearsal, nor alerting myself or the director to the fact. After a month of no shows I received a message, that was certainly sincerely apologetic, outlining reasons for being unable to continue. The crux of the matter is something I am seeing, or hearing about from other companies, a fair bit of at the moment. The actor had over committed  we were the show they decided to drop (most likely because it was a smaller role). 
It's an interesting thing working with younger actors. As a person who was once young herself, I believe kids need free time to spend just hanging out with friends or reading or shopping..., but as a teacher and a parent i also know the importance of teaching kids about honouring commitments, not over-committing, managing time, managing relationships etc. Skills that will be needed more and more as they get older.
My response to the actor was two-fold:
Make a phone call to the director explaining what has happened (NOT A TEXT OR I.M. OR P.M. OR ANY SUCH BRIEF TEXT-BASED IMPERSONAL COMMUNICATION WHICH ALLOWS ONE TO AVOID THOSE AWKWARD MOMENTS WE SOMETIMES HAVE TO FACE). The director had worked hard to create an ensemble role for this person as she believed in the actor's value (due to the actor advising up front that there was a large chunk of time where they would be unable to attend rehearsals close to production dates they could not be cast in a lead) . I explained that this personal explanation and apology was a mark of both character and respect, and would go a long way.
I then went on to explain that both amateur and professional companies run black lists of a sort. In Australia our industry is not huge and people talk to each other. If an actor has created a reputation in a show for being difficult or not turning up to rehearsals or suddenly pulling out of shows etc., it can effect their ability to get work.
​This actor had specific reasons for having to pull out of the show and did offer to help out backstage during the production, which I appreciated. However, I have known this young person for a long time, and know them to be a decent person, talented and hardworking. The thing is, not everyone on this production knows the actor that well yet, and they will talk. Not in a malicious way. It's just, people talk. As it stands, this actor has not yet called the director and it is impacting the desire of some people within the company to work with this person in the future.
​I certainly speak up for second chances, but that won't always be enough.

There is an underlying push against the arts in education at the moment. From all that I've read etc. regarding the most up to date research into effective teaching practices, as well as anecdotal evidence... I don't get it. 

Through drama: 
- I've watched shy children find their voice
- I've watched unfocused children hone their listening and attention skills
- I've watched 'all-about-me' people learn to empathise and work as a member of a team
- I've watched followers take the lead and leaders learn to follow
- I've watched corporate teams find a common ground and a way to communicate more effectively
- I've watched teams of both children and adults approach problem solving in constructive, creative and effective ways
- I've watched students engage their own personal interests with the subject at hand using skills in ICT, Numeracy, Literacy, Gross Motor, Interpersonal Communication...

DRAMA is the ultimate cross-curricular subject. 

Why, then, am I seeing and hearing dissent from a group of individuals who happen to be in positions of power and decision making? 

I don't get it.

Today I'm encouraging you to watch this talk by Sir Ken Robinson. Not only is the content interesting and worthwhile, but his performance is a fantastic example of how one might learn performance skills to use in professions other than acting. 

In this particular talk Sir Ken outlines why he feels that creativity is equally important to literacy in our children's education and, unfortunately, how our schools tend to educate creativity out of us. One point he discusses which certainly resonates with me as a drama teacher is the willingness to be wrong. I was an adult when I finally took a class where my teacher encouraged me to get it wrong. It was an acting class. Now, I had certainly been in situations before where teachers had encouraged me to "just give it a try", "just do your best", but I had also been in a situation where, upon achieving 99% in an exam, I was asked where the other 1% was. I'm sure the long line of individuals who repeated the line thought they were being very funny... However, what a 15 year old hears is, "Your best isn't good enough". What I really needed to hear back then, what helped me so much as an adult, and what I use in my own classes is the order, "Get it wrong". 

Recently I had a wonderful ten year old debate the point with me. I explained that we should never be afraid of mistakes because we learn so much and if we're perfect first time every time we won't learn. This intelligent lad disagreed saying that if we do it perfect then we'll learn how to do it perfect. I didn't tell him he was wrong. I smiled, told him I understood his point, but pointed out that all you would learn is a set of steps to achieve a specific goal. He didn't quite get my point so I explained further. "If you always do it perfectly one way, you will never learn why you shouldn't do it other ways. You will never learn other ways of approaching the same objective. You will never be challenged and therefore will never grow to your greatest potential". In the end we two decided to agree to disagree. 

I stand by my argument. I use to be terrified of making mistakes. Afraid of people in search of my other 1%. My risk aversion was a direct barrier to reaching my full potential. The day that a new acting teacher looked at me and said, "Just get it wrong" was a first step in letting go of that 1%. We need to let our kids get things wrong and drama is a great platform for them to learn about how to benefit from our mistakes. Quite often you will see an idea crash and burn in class. Instead of dismissing the failed idea altogether we talk through the strengths and weaknesses. Usually we find a great idea within the crash and burn which will lead to something fantastic, but if we don't... we just try something else.